Veronica Mars Rewatch – “Like a Virgin”

Veronica locker room

It would be a nightmare for any high school girl – stepping out of the shower in the school locker room to discover your clothes have been shoved into a toilet. Poor Veronica. Fortunately, this brings about our introduction to Meg Manning, who loans Veronica her cheerleading uniform so she can leave to get new clothes. Meg is the uncommon 09er who doesn’t act like one of the Mean Girls.

veronica and meg

The hot new thing at Neptune High is to take the purity test that was mysteriously emailed to everyone. It asks you what dirty things you’ve done and then scores you – as Dick Casablancas explains “everything under 60 is real slutty.”

The site hosting the purity test offers to sell the results for $10 each. The next day at school, everyone was exposing secrets they learned from buying each other’s tests. Innocent Meg tries to scrub a 48 off her locker while her boyfriend who scored a 90 is upset over what he thinks she’s been hiding. But Veronica believes someone was out to get Meg and offers to help.

"Meg, you're the last good person at this school. I'd believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning."

“Meg, you’re the last good person at this school. I’d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.”

This leads to the second awesome character introduction of the episode… Mac, who will become Veronica’s technology maven. I believe later in the series she’s referred to as the Q to Veronica’s Bond. Veronica quizzes her on how someone could have gotten Meg’s email password to take the test.

Meantime, Meg’s situation has gotten worse as the kids have been “slut-sneezing” her (like the loser sneeze from Bring it On: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/an-ejnKu4YnhYt7/bring_it_on_2000_new_kid_in_class/), even during her school musical audition. As Veronica goes to comfort Meg after she runs out of the auditorium, Veronica finds a 14 graffiti’d on her own locker.

"I admit it... I I splurged and spent ten bucks to read my own purity test. Apparently I've pleasured the swim team while jacked up on goofballs."

“I admit it… I I splurged and spent ten bucks to read my own purity test. Apparently I’ve pleasured the swim team while jacked up on goofballs.”

Veronica and Mac continue to hunt down the purity test culprits. They discover someone is logged on as Veronica within the school. They discover the empty computer and also found that someone sent an email from her… to Duncan. When someone messages her—or, rather, whoever had logged on as her—Veronica was able to put the pieces together.

veronica and kimmy

Kimmy, one of the Mean Girls, was jealous of Meg… and she’d been doinking the IT guy and was able to steal Meg’s password to take her purity test for her. Kimmy then turned on Pam as being the one behind Veronica’s test. Veronica gets the taped confession aired on the school’s morning news and Pam goes all Regina George on Kimmy. After school, Mac drives by in a souped up new car and Veronica realizes she’s the one who ran the test to make money.

mac in new car

The side plot introduces us to Wallace’s life outside of school with his single mom and younger brother. The pair are hanging out and talking about Wallace’s 70 on the purity test. To help de-purify him, Veronica faux-flashes him – just in time for his mom to see and remark that the little blonde girl is a bad influence and she’s heard bad things about Keith at her job at Kane Software.

"That had to be worth at least two points."

“That had to be worth at least two points.”

While at his house, Veronica overhears his mom taking crap from one of her tenants. After continued trouble, Veronica asks her dad to do his thing. (“That’s his specialty… busting heads and breaking hearts.”)

But Wallace’s mom is still uncomfortable with the rumors surrounding the Mars family, and tells Keith to stay out of it. Later, Wallace and his family come home to the smell of gas filling the house, after the tenant left the stove running. The sheriff’s deputy shows up and says that there isn’t anything they can do.

In one of the better Keith Mars performances, he shows up to scare the guy into leaving. In those moments, I sometimes think Keith might be happier as a PI than as a sheriff.

keith mars

The episode is bookended with Veronica continuing her investigation into Lilly’s murder. At the start of the episode, she presses Cliff into helping her visit Abel Koontz on death row.

veronica and cliff

Veronica: “Sometimes people find it very difficult to say ‘no’ to me.”

She writes a letter and fakes a photograph, pretending to be a criminal law student from his hometown. Her plan works, and Koontz agrees to see her.

Finally, Veronica goes to visit Abel Koontz. With her put-on southern drawl, she shows him the photograph. He says he knows Veronica Mars.

"Unfortunately you're your father's daughter... your real father."

“Unfortunately you’re your father’s daughter… your real father.”

Koontz insinuates that Veronica is the daughter of Jake Kane.

What I Love:

  • Daniel Bass, who plays Cole, Meg’s stupid boyfriend… also played Rick, Kim Bauer’s stupid date, in the first season of 24.
    cole and rick
  • Tina Majorino, who plays Mac… also played Deb in Napoleon Dynamite
    mac and deb
  • Dick: “Snow White took it and scored an 89.”
  • Veronica: “Wow. You are 30% danger-loving, girl-touching rock star!”
  • Veronica: “So that one day in your memoirs you’ll refer to me as inscrutable.”
  • Veronica: “And while there’s nothing more satisfying than solving a case, there’s something seedy in being the interruptus in someone else’s coitus.”
  • I’ve always really appreciated the 100% platonic relationship between Veronica and Wallace… who says guys and gals can’t be friends?

 

 

 

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